Tomorrow is my last day at work.
Something also happened early this week. Well, in fact I think it was a result of the meeting on the new fiscal year plan that I did not have to be present. My friend who will have to take over some of my work asked me on Monday how I planned to finish the current project.
With 4 days left, she still wanted me to work harder to finish the project, because I should. She even wanted me to work late and come in on holidays! (Magha Puja Day this year falls on the 14th February, so it is national holiday.) Then she just went ahead and sent emails to those involved about this plan.
Even if I comply to that though, everyone knows just by looking at piles of drafts that a team of three people cannot finish it in a week. There are only minor things to correct here and there, but proofreading over 2,000 pages is going to take time nonetheless. And it is never a good idea to proofread in a hurry.
I was speechless.
All the way home that evening, I felt used.
Like I would mean nothing if I stopped working for some reason.
Sure work is a big part of one’s life. It’d be hard to describe myself without saying something about what I do. But I do hope that I would mean something as a person even if I don’t work, or can’t, or simply decided not to.
I have already done too much for this project. I would not go one extra mile for it, not right now.
Monday night, something else came up. My part time job. Since I’d soon be away for three weeks and need to clear things up, I now have loads to do. And I haven’t packed yet for that the trip. So I made up my mind: definitely no.
Tuesday, first thing in the morning, we discussed the plan again. I said I cannot go along with it. I will not work late. I will not come in on holidays. No. Period. I assured her that she could complete it without me, she did have the experience and know exactly what to do. And she seemed upset, demanding a better solution.
At that moment, I fought the urge to say it to her face that this is not my problem.
You can’t expect things be done faster while still maintaining the standard without offering any help. And if you consider this important at all, you would help since last year. The only reason you want to help now is because you don’t want to be responsible for the whole thing when I left.
No. I have no better solution. I’ll do the best I could. She can ask people from other departments to help checking some drafts that are nearly finish. But no more.
I stayed a bit longer these two days. Today as I left, almost at 7 pm, she said she’d sleep over at the office. All by herself. I said my goodbyes and stepped outside, knowing it’d never be the same between us.
Whatever friendship I might have left in this office is probably gone now.
But I don’t feel guilty about this.
I just can’t wait for everything to be over so I can just be free from it all.
They’ll have a farewell dinner for me after work tomorrow. Can’t imagine what’s going to happen, but judging from previous farewell dinners I have had, if it didn’t turn out awkward, then we’re all just great pretenders.